Top 3 Best Approaches To Get The Partner Of Your Choice -Guide For Married Men & Women: These days, not all the married couple are staying in a happy relationship. Sometimes bearing and crawling with a relationship becomes so stressful that it starts affecting husband, wife and even children. And then comes the glitch in the matrix and people start to look for something extra. This search for extra brings extra-marital affair in the scene, which not by far is better than crushing between pressure and making other family members suffocate.
One question I get asked a lot is “I’m married and past my prime single years. Who can I date? and How should I approach a woman/man to get into a romantic relationship?” The simple answer to who can you date? – everyone! It all depends on your approach. There are a few ways of approaching the dating scene. I’ll warn you that some of these methods may be a bit unscrupulous. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with doing, and do try to keep other people from getting their feelings hurt.
One thing I can say in general though is that when dealing with other people, you have to balance what they want/are looking for, and making them feel special. When talking about sex, women in particular but men as well want to feel like they are special – there’s something about them that made you desire them specifically. Not just that they were a sexual appeasement tool. That can be overruled if they are also just looking for sex and you happen to fit their requirements. When you’re married but looking for extra-marital sex, It is apparent that you are just looking for a sexual relation, so much of what you do will be to either find people looking for the same or to cover that and make the other person feel special somehow.
And finally, some of the methods I present I may not personally endorse. I’m just giving you all the full range of options. Use at your own risk.
Don’t let yourself whitewash the potentially catastrophic results of having an affair can have on spouses, partners, kids, family, friends, etc. This may be the path of meifumado (hell): deception, lies, abused trust, and all sorts of other sins abound. The moral predicament isn’t something everyone can handle, probably for good reason.
Top 3 Best Approaches To Get The Partner Of Your Choice -Guide For Married Men & Women
Here I’m going to discuss in detail the best 3 approaches to get the partner of your choice, their benefits and limitations, and what type of men/women can be approached with these methods individually:
First Approach- Full Disclosure
The first approach is full disclosure. You tell people you meet you’re married. You’re not going to divorce your spouse but you are looking for something extra and hopefully, they can fill that role. AshleyMadison is, of course, a good resource for that. Depending on where you live, other sites like craigslist or AdultFriendFinder may also be helpful. Outside of the internet you still meet people the old-fashioned ways – at bars, work, activities, interest groups, sports, etc. Just meet people normally – don’t tell them you’re interested in them and don’t hide the fact that you’re married. As you develop an interest in someone you can pursue things and see what happens. You can explain your situation and see if they are on board, or for a bit of an evil twist, don’t talk about being unhappy in the marriage – don’t talk about the marriage much at all. Make it feel like that person was just so irresistible that you just can’t help yourself. Some people actually enjoy the feeling of successfully seducing a married person.
- Who can I date? – People in the same situation as you, singles who are only interested in sex and don’t mind the marriage aspect, people who are interested in you specifically and don’t mind the marriage aspect. Your dating pool will be somewhat limited – even if you meet someone who is into you, a lot of people will be unable to resolve the married aspect. Remember that the social stigma against cheating is very high, and the accomplish is also considered just as guilty.
- Pros – You don’t have to be dishonest. No need to keep track of lies. No need to make excuses for a boyfriend/girlfriend about your limited time.
- Cons – Your secret is fully exposed to the other person. You now have no control over what they do and have to fully trust that they won’t expose you in one way or another. You may think that picking someone in the same situation is a safe route, as they have just as much to lose as you do, but the risk is still very high. They may have a sudden change of heart and decide to come clean to their own spouse as well as yours. You might have a bad breakup and they decide to tell your spouse out of revenge. They aren’t as vigilant with their secret keeping, and their spouse finds out who then tells your spouse. They tell a friend, that friend tells a friend, and word of mouth gets back to your spouse. This isn’t a daytime soap opera scenario, these things happen.
Second Approach- Concealed Approach
The next approach is the casual relationship with a bit of dishonest one. You don’t bring up the fact that you’re married. You will tell potential partners that you are really only looking for a casual physical relationship; you can cover your time at home by saying you are busy with your career, school, interests, whatever. Since you are so busy, you don’t really have the time for a full relationship, but would just like to enjoy dinner and sex with someone you get along with. If you are going this route you may not want to give potential partners your real name and profession. If they googled your name what would they find?
- Who can I date? – The same people from the full disclosure route – married people also looking for side action, singles looking for sex, singles who are just into you. Your potential dating pool will expand a bit as it now includes the people who wouldn’t be able to accept the whole marriage aspect.
- Pros – This is your highest level of security, as you don’t have to worry about what the other person keeping your secret as well. Expanded dating pool.
- Cons – Being dishonest and having to keep track of lies. The risk of things getting messy if your partner finds out about the lies. Especially if they see you in public with your spouse (where a boy/girlfriend in the know would maybe just keep their distance). If dating singles, there’s always the risk that they will develop feelings beyond a casual relationship, especially if your arrangement goes on for more than 6 months or so.
The Third Approach- Staying Single
The last and least ethical approach is to just go out there as a single. You’re not married or even seeing anyone. And you’re not looking for a fuck buddy. You’re just going out there and seeing what happens. You’re open to the idea of a serious relationship, but like the casual relationship approach, you are busy with whatever and don’t have a whole lot of time for one. If you begin dating someone it can start off as the potential for a real relationship, but at some point, early in (no more than 3 months) you will tell the partner that you are busy and unable to commit to a full relationship. You would love to continue meeting on a casual basis though. People who aren’t down with those terms will leave, but those who are (perhaps they have nothing better going on) will stick around.
- Who can I date? – Everyone! While married people looking for play might be a little cautious of you, you still have access to them, singles looking for sex, and just anyone who is looking for some sort of relationship with a physical aspect included. There are a lot of people who want to enjoy sex but are put off by the friends with benefits idea – they want to feel special, and a bond with the other person. In the “regular” approach these people will fall into your potential partner range.
- Pros – This method provides for the biggest potential dating pool. Security level is also high.
- Cons – Extremely dishonest. Having to keep track of lies. The greater risk of things blowing up in your face if your lies are exposed. And now you really have to worry about the partner falling in love with you, especially if things start under the context of a regular romantic relationship. This is a path where feelings can be very easily hurt.
I hope the above guide with “Top 3 Best Approaches To Get The Partner Of Your Choice -Guide For Married Men & Women” helps you in some way. If you have any comments and personal experiences that you want to share with us, then do let us know in the comments section!